Traps
by Ersatz Einstein
Summary: Batman and Green Arrow are negotiating another maze of villainous tricks and traps, but this one has a unique surprise at the end. Please R&R.


_WHOOSH!_

Fire burst from the wall as, for the first time, he noticed a series of holes in the corridor. Worse still, she'd been smart enough to vary their heights. Springing nimbly from one foot to the other, he darted between and around blasts.

'_Clichéd, but effective. At least Arrow is with me. As obnoxious as he can be, he's useful in a jam.'_

"Show-off," muttered Green Arrow, lifting his bow and firing a single shot into what he had correctly surmised was the control panel. He scarcely waited for the flickering embers to vanish to follow his colleague.

"Your method was inefficient."

"I think you mean practical."

"Knives." They both spun to shoot the axles of swinging axes dangling from the ceiling.

'_Astounding. The entire bank has been trapped, yet only half an hour elapsed since the alarm went off.'_

"Your childish competitiveness is beginning to affect your work."

"Pu-lease. Like you don't have anything affecting _your _work. Robots."

'_Suggests that she committed the actual burglary hours ago. Probably tripped the alarm intentionally. Why?'_

The robots (_'Probably designed with reference to goddess Bast'_) carried large pikes and sported eyes glowing red. (_'This model is usually found further west. Calculator has been reestablishing contacts there, most likely.'_) He involuntarily looked over his shoulder as his partner dispatched three in under ten seconds.

"I fight these all the time in Star City. They have a weak point in the small of the back. Don't feel bad. Anyone would be confused his first time." As he spoke, a robot approached him from behind.

The explosion from the batarang's impact between the eyes was the only response necessary. "You were saying something?" _'Shouldn't have added that. Makes me sound petty.'_

"I'm still ahead."

"Fighting evil isn't a contest."

"You always say that when you're losing."

"Again?"

"As in, always."

"As in, in your dreams." A hidden door opened ten feet away from them. "There."

As they both raced for it, he couldn't help but add, "What exactly is affecting my work, anyway?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe a certain – "

That's when the floor gave out under them.

…

"Mrrow, isn't this purrfect?"

"My, my, look what the cat dragged in?"

The sultry expression on her face dissolved into a look of boredom and contempt. "Sorry, Peter Pan. I'm not interested in children's games."

"Oh, yeah, well…" He took a better look at the bank vault they had fallen into. "You know what? Sure. Mind if I leave out the front?"

She smirked. "Be my guest."

'_What does he think he's – oh.' _

What had once been a dark gray vault was now lit softly by candles and painted a tasteful burgundy. The light didn't extend far, but he could glimpse the outlines of more candles and a table in the background.

Green Arrow was almost at the door. "You can't leave. That would be… deserting a partner. In the midst of battle."

"Oh, c'mon, Bats. It's just Catwoman. Don't tell me you can't handle her on your own." It was increasingly obvious that the Emerald Archer was struggling to contain his laughter.

"I'm coming with you."

"Now, you can't do that. She's a burglar in the process of committing a crime. It's fine if _I _leave her in the hands of a capable colleague, but you'd be abandoning your post. The last vanguard of justice, remember?"

'_I'm going to get him for this. This is completely unprofessional. He's treating a dangerous supervillainess as if she were a civilian.' _"Arrow, wait – "

But he was gone, leaving Batman with Catwoman. She raised an eyebrow and approached him, her stance mixing aggression with allure.

"Happy Valentine's Day. I have champagne." She reached forward and ran her hand along his jaw.

"I, um, I… He doesn't know what he's talking about! I don't – I mean, you're very, um… but I'm not…" He resisted the urge to smack his face.

'_Smooth.'_

* * *

**I know that this is two months early, but I couldn't resist.**


End file.
